Awhile ago I posted a list of the ridiculous things I've said to the kids. Here's a new list from this past week:
1. "Please don't play with the china and wrap it up in towels anymore. I just threw a beach towel in the hamper and nearly broke a figurine."
2. "That's not a toy, it's a tampon. Put it back in my purse, please, NOW!"
3. "No, it's not a parachute for your dolls, it's a tampon. Stop playing with them."
4. "Who took the doorknob off, and where did you put it??"
5. "When you said you put the dental floss in the toilet I thought you meant a strand, not the whole container, so, no, it's not okay to flush right now."
6. "Why is the red tablecloth in the tree?"
7. "Grandma Weaver looks different right now because she takes her hair off at night so she can go to sleep."
8. "It's just the smoke alarm. It's telling us that dinner was actually ready awhile ago."
9. "The lyrics to the song are, 'Where or where is Susie?' not 'Where or where is sushi?' "
10. "I don't know who Susie is...No, I don't know where she is...maybe she's eating the sushi."