Before Breakfast

My idea of a good way to start my day:  meander downstairs to find the coffee maker timer worked and the coffee is made and already an hour hot; grab a happy mug and settle in the dining room to read, pray, and meditate.  An hour later, take a hot shower, dress, and find the youngsters already well on their way to getting ready.    The key to my good morning is QUIET.  SOLITUDE.  PEACE.  That said, I thought I'd jot down some of the questions my darlings asked of me this morning before I even had that first sip of hot nectar:

Question #1:  "Mom, how is money made?"  (Huh?  Like how is it printed or how does one earn it? Where's the coffee pot?)
 Question #2:  "How do they get this picture of the man on the dollar?" (Oh, it's a printing question.  Here's the coffee pot. Why was it in the refrigerator?)
Question #3:  "Is this an eight dollar bill?"  (Huh?  Oh, that number 8? I don't know why that's there. No, it's a one dollar bill surrounded by number eights.  Where's the milk?)
Question #4: "Did the money come from trees like my paper?) (No, it's actually cloth, that's why so many crooks can launder money.  that's just a joke. Please pass me the splenda.)
Question #5:  "Who makes cereal?  How do they get all the colors?" (Those are your sister's beads, don't eat them.  What do you mean there's no more splenda?)
Question #6:  "How does water get made?" (oh, just a little bit of hydrogen, a little less oxygen, and poof! Any equal? Sugar?)
Question #7:  "Who can make a window?  Can God make a window?" (of course, but His would be free but it wouldn't be cheap.  Oops, that's about grace not glass. Now where in the hell is my mug?)

Listen to Ethiopian-Chinese Mamas Playlist

Listen to Adoption Blog Music

Flying High Mama

It's been ages since I've updated.  For anyone who is still actually checking this blog:  Helloooo!!  I am going to include a few photos from our recent excursions to the wonderful Children's Museum we visited recently.  

Before I do that, I want to share what the Princesses said recently.  Princess Diva Darling had to have two teeth removed due to her upcoming orthodontic work.  She completely freaked out (just like big sister Princess Moxie did when she had some teeth removed) over the notion of a "Tooth Fairy."  Her rant was  something akin to this:

"Mammmma! Wha???  A fairy?? A little person flying 'round my room while I was sleeping?? Flew under my pillow?  Awwwww, ewwwww, I don wan no fairy in my room flying around in the dark while I'm SLEEPING!  How did she get in?  Through the wall or a window?  How? Mama? What else can get in?"

So, Princess Moxie-as she's the Great Protector-led her sister downstairs by the hand and joined me in the kitchen:


"Mom, she's upset, but don't worry I told her truth," explained Moxie.

"What truth did you tell her?" I asked.

"You know, that you are the tooth fairy."

I looked over at Diva Darling.  She was looking at me with her large brown adoringly.  Truly in awe.

 "Really Mama?  You are the tooth fairy?"   she asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, sweetie, I am," glad to know that the real truth was told.

She continued to look at me with such love and then asked, "How did you learn how to fly?"

Deep breathe.  And this is where I went astray.  "Well, honey, there are lots of things I can do that you don't know about.  I've always been able to fly.  This is why I am so tired in the morning, you know, flying around to all the little boys and girls' homes to exchange their teeth for money. Now go, now, play now," as I ushered them into the playroom.

There are some people who just aren't ready for the truth, I suppose.

Princess Diva Darling at the Children's Museum

                 This is Princess Moxie (above) and Princess Sparky (below) also at the Children's Museum

The three princesses snuggling with a big umm queen?

Our 3-Ring Circus

Here are some recent photos taken May 25, 2010, of Princess Sparky from China with Ethiopian sisters Princess Moxie and Princess Diva Darling.  The last photo was taken in Addis Ababa in May of 2008.  That photo was the very first one we ever saw of our African princesses...I still get goosebumps when I see them! 

h

The Simple Way to Lose 80 Pounds

I'm sitting in the "Craft Room" at the town gym. This is the big room with a wall of new computers where the senior citizens meet for the AARP Driver Education course. I just got off the treadmill and my legs are still quivering. But I am not sore from weight lifting or the run. It's the spring cleaning that's killing me.

Rather than actually clean the upstairs bathroom yesterday, I decided I'd rip out the old grout around the tub and ta-da, just re-caulk it clean and white. Went to the hardware store on Main Street and got a bottle of pure white silicon waterproofing caulk, a nifty green caulking gun, and some delightful new sponges. (Don't new sponges hold such promise? They are so pure and optimistic.)

Re-grouting the tub yesterday was a big accomplishment for me. However, when I surveyed my handiwork this morning it didn't look nearly as good as I thought it would. It was messy. Bumpy. Smeared on the wall over the soap dish and on the floor tiles. It's waterproof. It's permanent. How many projects have I undertaken with more enthusiasm than expertise? Most, I imagine. What makes me think that a video on youtube is sufficient? My dad was once a shop teacher, and one of the gifts he imparted--which is entirely unmerited--is supreme confidence around power tools. I think because he can do something, well, gosh, so can I.

Inspired by my caulking, I attemped to clean the oven...for the first time in five years. No, that's not really true. I tried to clean it a few months ago, and with my mother's help we managed to permanently lock the oven door for the self-cleaning cycle, but nothing happened. The service guy came out and told me that I had burnt out some venilator piece and I'd be better off not replacing it. "Just clean it the old-fashioned way, use Easy-Off," he advised. Oh my goodness. Now I know why everyone complains about this task. The spray created gallons of gooey black liquid that ran onto the wood floor. It took two rolls of paper towels to mop up the gunk.

Encouraged by my oven cleaning, I tackled the kitchen floor this morning. Swept, vacummed, mopped, and then got on my hands and knees and wiped off every gooey sticker the kids planted on the floor over the past year.

"Where did my Smiley Face go?" wailed Princess Sparky.

"It's floating in the black goo from the oven, honey."

Undaunted by the kitchen floor stickiness, I marched into the living room and moved the furniture, sweeping, vacuuming and mopping in there, too. I found a Christmas plant that had fallen behind a bookcase, a math game to learn fractions, and several orange peels. I rearranged the furniture; this is truly one of my favorite past-times.

On to the hall closet! I found SEVEN bags of kids' old clothing that we were going to sell at a garage sale that never happened. I loaded them into the car, locked down Princess Sparkey, and brought all of it to the Salvation Army drop-off bins.

My back is killing me, but I think I lost about 80 pounds since yesterday morning!

Journey of Three Hundred Nights


We're quickly approaching the ten month anniversary of when the older girls joined our family. I was just thinking that at some point I will stop counting days and months, and I'll just smile and say the girls have been here a long time. It's sort of like being the mother of an infant and reporting on their age to admiring strangers, except in adoption parlance this is called "family age." So, the girls are approaching their ten month birthdays of this family. Today they had medical check-ups and we learned that they have grown! Diva Darling is 13.5 pounds heavier and has grown 3.25 inches. Princess Moxie is 3 inches taller and gained 13 pounds since March!

One thing that i was reminded of recently was when Princess Moxie cut her right hand when the garage door slammed shut unexpectedly. (I still get chills thinking of that injury.) After cleaning and bandaging it, we prayed that it would heal quickly. Later that evening Marta showed me her LEFT hand and said, "Look! It's healed, it's a miracle!!"

Some of the funnier things said and done this week:

Diva Darling ran down the stairs in our house holding an orange tube in her hand. "This Colgate?" "No, face scrub," I told her. She looked ready to vomit and said, "Eeewwww, no taste good at all, Mom." "Yes, but look how clean your teeth are," I said laughing my head off.

Later, at their dental appointment Princess Moxie ran into one of the dentists in the hallway. He is a big, funny, gregarious guy and after listening to his act for a minute she asked pointedly, "Are you Dr. Seuss?"

As Princess continued down the hallway she saw the huge aquarium with not only fish but also snowmen and Santa figurines inside it. "Who knocked down the Santa?" asked Princess. The receptionist replied, "One of the fish did it." Marta quickly shook her finger at the fish tank and said, "Ok, you fish, you're in time-out."

One very poignant moment this week came at the dentist's office. One year ago I had brought Princess Sparky for her check-up and shared with the dentist (Dr. Seuss) that we were adopting two girls from Ethiopia. He admitted he didn't know where in Africa Ethiopia was, so I got a pen and paper and drew him a picture of Africa. Well, this past Saturday he told me that he has signed up to go on a trip to do cleft palate surgeries...in Ethiopia!! I stood there with tears in my eyes thinking what an awesome experience-in so many ways on so many different levels!

I wish you world peace and serenity in your home--

Love,
M.

Happy Thanksgiving!

One Year's Difference!
Photos from this November and Last November

Run!

On Saturday, October 31, Princess Moxie ran in a large race for 4th and 5th graders in our area. It was fun for us to see her participate with a couple of hundred children and spectators. The run was billed as "cross country," but it was really only a quarter-mile, although it seemed much longer since it was raining!

Afterward, we went to the diner for pancakes, a kind of post-race-carb-loading frenzy. To top it off, Theo, the owner, invited our girls to go behind the counter to take some Halloween candy. Princess Moxie was digging through the bucket of candy, grabbing and eating everything she could and said loudly, "I am like a little mouse!" Theo quickly reprimanded her, saying, "Never say 'mouse' in a restaurant!"

Princesses Moxie, Sparky and Diva Darling went trick-or-treating with two neighbors in the early afternoon. My neighbor friend went with us, and we had a nice time watching the girls enjoy their first Halloween. (As a Christian, I have mixed feelings about Halloween. However, when I was a kid, I loved to dress up and go out trick-or-treating. Now, though, it seems that the adults have taken over and made it too scary and ridiculous with their grotesque "decorations.") After the trick-or-treating the girls took baths (it was still raining), and we watched Charlotte's Web and ate candy for dinner. Delicious.

On Sunday, November 1, the NYC Marathon was held. I wish I had thought to bring the girls to it. I've gone several times to cheer on the runners, and it's a thrill to be there. This year was especially exciting because Derartu Tulu of Ethiopia won the women's race and America's Meb (originally from Eritrea)won the men's race! I showed the girls the clip from youtube on Meb and will show them the video clip on Tulu when they get home from school. I did a little quick research and it turns out Tulu is from the Oromo tribe, so I don't know if our girls will be interested/impressed with her, as our princesses are Amhara; they have a lot of tribal pride and I've been told Amhara has long been the "aristocrats" and ruling group. At times when they speak about the other tribes it sounds like they don't even consider them Ethiopian. Interesting.

Regardless, next year we'll plan to go to NYC to watch, if the Lord is willing, and we'll cheer on our two home teams!!

Big hugs,
M.

This IS my Life

A dear, thoughtful friend of mine recently asked gently, "Do you have a life?" I answered quickly, too quickly, "No, not really," I said, "I am with one or all of my girls 24/7."

First of all, that's not true. On Saturdays for several hours I leave them with my husband and relish in my alone time. On Sundays, my groom and I enjoy an afternoon date, sans children. So, I am not with them ALL the time.

But what I should have said, which is more accurate, is that my family IS my life. All I do whirls around them...if I am shopping, it is for them; if I am praying, it is concerning their needs and my need for help; if I am driving, I am bringing them somewhere; if I am on the phone, I am speaking about them, or listening to a caller and feeling distracted by thoughts of them.

Jesus promises us that if we lose our life, we will find it. I have "lost," what I felt was "mine." My time to do whatever the heck I wanted, when I wanted to, has been replaced with countless obligations. My six-figure salary is long gone, along with the fun perks such as being on Larry and Klara Silverstein's yacht during a lunar eclipse; having tea at the Ritz-Carlton in Palm Beach; lunching in Naples and hearing, "Yes," to my request for $1.5 million; co-piloting the Fuji blimp; meeting Her Royal Highness of Jordan, etc. Time for my interests: running, reading, writing, spending time with extended family and cherished friends, has pretty much evaporated. I guess this is what Jesus meant: our lives can be lost--submitted perhaps is a better word, and His promise is true. He will give us back so much more; in fact, He already has. What would I possibly buy that would bring me more happiness than hearing, "I love you Mom!" What is more fun than riding around with my three girls singing at the top of our lungs? What tastes better than a teary, salty kiss given as an apology for misbehavior? What book is better to read than listening to my children READ outloud for the first time?? I used to think moms sounded so defensive when they said, "I wouldn't trade this time with my kids for anything in the world." I thought their view of the world must be sorely limited. Now I get it. Now I am a mom. I understand that laying down my interests is necessary, and it's also okay. My interests are still there, like crocuses, pushing from underneath the heavy snow...yet, I don't need to indulge them right now. It really is okay. My interests are now in the larger, brighter snow-covered landscape. As my college roommate wisely shared, "What makes us women think we can have it all, all at once? We have to make choices."

Does this make sense to you? It still surprises me...

The other side of this coin is that I have both interests and needs, and it my interests that I have and need to put on hold. My "needs" on the other hand, must be tended to, as I will not be able to be a good wife or mother if I don't take care of the foundational requirements. But that's a different post!


With love,
m.

The First-born

Princess Sparky joined our family almost 3 years ago when she was one year old. Her sisters are older than she, but to pay homage to Sparky's earlier arrival, we refer to her as our first-born. Sparky's beloved grandmother, Nina, pointed out that I haven't been writing about her so much, so here are some little-known facts about our almost four-year-old:

Princess Sparky dropped out of preschool in late September and is living at home, still with no job or educational plans;
She seems to play all day and eats only when she's hungry.
She is obsessed with baby bottles and pacifiers;
She can count to 110 (yes, by ones, not just 10's)
She ties her own shoe laces (and her sisters, and mine, when I am not in a hurry.)
Sparky looks sweet but is actually quite spicy.
She recently watched her first full-length animated video; it was Charlotte's Web, and she now is a big fan of pigs but is still wary of spiders.
Sparky loves to climb a dogwood tree in the backyard, jump repeatedly on the low branches and sing, "Merry Go Round, Merry Go Round.." at the top of her lungs.

She is a confident, outspoken, funny, and clever kid who is wrestling with sibling rivalry and imaginary-as well as real-fears. She is also in the throes of mimicking the best and worst of her sisters' behaviors.

What more can I say? She loves to play school, doctor (will take turns being the patient and doc), dentist, eye doctor, and "neighbor." Playing neighbor entails going outside and ringing our doorbell, saying, "Helloooo, neighbor!" very dramatically, and then having a cup of decaf tea. She's into board games like Maisy's dominoes, the Very Hungry Caterpillar Game, and loves, loves play-dough. She still enjoys hanging out on a step stool over the kitchen sink and just playing with water, and exploring what things float, sink, or smell especially gross. She is also still enamored with baby dolls, wrapping them up in blankets, tablecloths, or whatever else is handy, and rocking them when they cry. She likes dogs and cats from a safe distance and once is warmed up them she will be very content to cuddle and pet them. She's musical and consistently says her favorite toy is her guitar. She strums the one good string and pings at the others and makes up songs about God, Jesus and herself. (That's not a joke, she thinks she's part of the Trinity.) She can sing every song on 10 cds from Music Together classes. Not on key but loudly with feeling.

Natalie's warmth and affection is often kept hidden until bedtime, and then she is all kisses and breathy, "I love you soooo much, Mommy." I am so glad she's no longer going to preschool so we can just hang out and play all day. I've missed our 1:1 time over the past 8 months and I want to make up for it by squeezing every minute I can with her. She is pure joy and a treasure from God :)

The First Seven Months

I can't believe that it has been seven months since we came home with Princess Moxie and Princess Diva Darling. Rather than belabor the point "it seems like they've always been here," with the antithesis "it doesn't seem that long at all," I thought it might be illustrative to write some things that we've done which we have found helpful, as well as capture some changes that we've experienced. So, here goes:

1. The girls have truly learned English within 7 months
They aren't simply stringing words together....they are actually using metaphors and similes, to my amazement. Diva Darling woke up this morning, saw her hair was sticking up six inches on top and demanded that I fix it, saying, "I don't want my hair to look like a stack of pancakes!" Her older sister was feeling fed up with the three-year-old running around and flapping her arms, so she told her, "You are like a butterfly! Stop fluttering in my bedroom!"

This is what their "schooling" has been like:

March: After medical tests, exams, bloodwork and treatment for parasites, they received a full evaluation by our local school district. The assessment included Speech and Language with an Amharic native speaker to interpret; an Educational assessment; and a Psychological/Social assessment, again with an Ethiopian educational professional.
April-June: In-home instruction for 90-minutes/three days a week by an amazing ESL teacher
May and June: In-school instruction with a teacher 5/days a week for an hour before other students arrived
July-August (6 weeks): In school instruction, but this time one-on-one with ESL and another teacher from 7:30 am to 8:45 am followed by 5 hours of day camp in the same location (local elementary school).
August: Vacation Bible School where they played with their peers, memorized scripture verses, and learned about life during Jesus' time on Earth.
September: One kidd-o started fourth grade in the public elementary school. She has 19 classmates, and THREE extraordinary teachers in the room. She leaves for an hour each day to receive ESL instruction with an experienced and upbeat teacher and a few other students. The other kidd-o started third grade in the same school. She has about 22 children in her class and two fantastic, self-described "old-fashioned values" teachers. She also receives ESL for an hour.
Both girls have gym (either 2 or 3 times a week), Spanish (2 or 3 times a week) and Art and Music either once or twice a week.

Other things: During their "non-schooling" hours, we listened to music for large parts of each day. We heard and sang all types of music: Brahms (when I needed serenity); opera (which blew their little minds!); traditional children's songs (so they learned the alphabet or parts of the body); Amharic songs (found on YouTube and from cd's ordered on-line as well as our amazing local library); instrumental; other nationality's songs through "Music Together" cds and songbooks; and traditonal and contemporary hymns and Christian songs. Music was key to their learning English, intonation, and for just having fun.

Vacation: A week at the beach this summer with our immediate family did wonders for bonding together.

Prayers: We pray at every meal and before bed, as well as throughout the day. This practice not only helps us to maintain and enrich our relationship with the Lord, it also helped them to speak formally, outloud, with others listening to their thoughts and feelings.

Play: The girls played nearly every day outdoors for a long time. At first we went to parks and playgrounds, as playground equipment was new to them and very exciting. They couldn't do the monkey bars when they first arrived, their little bodies were so small and they were relatively timid. Now, their muscular, toned arms fly from bar to bar. Diva can even skip alternate bars, as well as do the monkey bars going backwards! The girls taught themselves how to ride bikes, swim, dive, and do cartwheels. They watch everyone else constantly and are quick to show off their new talents!!

Food: When the girls first arrived I was afraid that they'd starve to death in America. They would pick food up in their fingers, sniff it and say, "No." Our only rule with food was that they had to try the food, they never had to eat all of it at mealtimes. The kitchen remained open and they were allowed to help themselves to any food they wanted, regardless of meal time. This practice drove some of our visitors mad, but we now have two kids at healthy weights, with enviable BMI, who eat nearly everything. They still love fruits and vegetables, thank goodness. They pack their own lunches, and a typical lunch will include a sandwich on multi-grain bread, an apple, some carrots with hummus, and string cheese. I am so glad they are healthy and enjoy healthy food!

Church/Bible: Both girls came to us with an understanding of God and Jesus. Their faith is simple and one has a more mature level of understanding of praying God's will to be done. The younger of the two prays for her will to be done. We have switched churches recently due to doctrinal issues and look forward to having the girls in a Bible-believing, teaching church with a strong youth program. Interestingly, both girls like to go to bed praying with rosary beads. When their English improves we will be able to have more meaningful conversations to find out what they believe and have them baptized as proclaiming Christ as their personal Savior. (We are pretty sure they were baptized as infants as that is the common practice of Ethiopian Orthodox Christians).

Vital Help: We have been blessed by having three Ethiopian women involved in our girls' lives. Two in particular, one a young woman working at NYU Africa House and the other a devout Christian grandmother, have been instrumental in helping our girls maintain their Amharic as well as interpreting for us during difficult times. And there have been difficult times!!

Social Skills: The school social worker worked with us to identify the specific social skills which she will work with our girls on during lunch period. (She forms "friendship circles" with children in the same grade who need help learning our culture's mores and manners.) The list is long but the girls are so smart and eager to please that they will breeze through these shortly, I believe. I am so grateful that we have an experienced "coach" helping us to teach personal boundaries, eye contact, etc.

Extracurricular Activities: After some reflection, we have decided to limit the girls' activities outside of school. I was stunned when I tried to arrange a playdate with a third grader and learned we had to wait two weeks before she'd be "free." I don't want my kids to be in adult-run activities all day long. They need their quiet time, as do I. I want us to live a simple, quiet life, and if that means no Girl Scouts and organized sports, that's okay with me. I want my girls to know and walk closely with the Lord, be productive, kind, respectful, and make the most of every day. I don't think being busy makes them productive. They need time to internalize what they are learning and incorporate it into their routines. They need time to think, day dream, remember who they are and recall where they've been and have the chance to dream of where they want to be and do in their future. Because as we've learned during the past seven months, time can move very swiftly.

More Strange but True Things I've Uttered...

Awhile ago I posted a list of the ridiculous things I've said to the kids. Here's a new list from this past week:

1. "Please don't play with the china and wrap it up in towels anymore. I just threw a beach towel in the hamper and nearly broke a figurine."

2. "That's not a toy, it's a tampon. Put it back in my purse, please, NOW!"

3. "No, it's not a parachute for your dolls, it's a tampon. Stop playing with them."

4. "Who took the doorknob off, and where did you put it??"

5. "When you said you put the dental floss in the toilet I thought you meant a strand, not the whole container, so, no, it's not okay to flush right now."

6. "Why is the red tablecloth in the tree?"

7. "Grandma Weaver looks different right now because she takes her hair off at night so she can go to sleep."

8. "It's just the smoke alarm. It's telling us that dinner was actually ready awhile ago."

9. "The lyrics to the song are, 'Where or where is Susie?' not 'Where or where is sushi?' "

10. "I don't know who Susie is...No, I don't know where she is...maybe she's eating the sushi."

Look, there's a Rabbit in the Tree!

The kids fell sound asleep tonight at 7PM! I am thrilled to have time to sit and think!! Not that I don't think...that didn't come out right. I do try to think, it's just not readily apparent. You know what I mean? If you are not aware you're thinking then it feels like you aren't...it's just the busyness but when you think about thinking (what is that called, "metacognition"??) it's so satisfying...just to know that I still can think...are you following me at all?

So, I just want to jot down a few things before I forget that I even remembered them.
(Can you tell it's late?)

- Princess Moxie has really been speaking a lot of English lately. She has developed this funny but inane way of referring to me as "Ma Byrnes." It reminds me of JohnBoy calling his nana, "Grandma Walton" on each episode of the Walton's. Makes me feel 92 years old.

- The kids call zippers "seat belts." I sorta understand how they reached that conclusion and haven't corrected them yet. So, each morning one will invariably walk up to me, thrust her pelvis out and say, "Ma Byrnes, please, my seatbelt?" It's enough to make orange juice shoot out of my nostrils.

- Princess Diva Darling is very, very smart. But she insists on calling squirrels "rabbits." The other day she scared the life out of me by yelling, "Mama, a big rabbit jumped out of a tree and is on the roof!"

- Princess Sparky got a huge gash on her face this week after she fell on a pretzal rod. Yes, you read that right, she ripped open her cheek on a Rold Gold Rod. I think there is still some salt imbedded in her face but I can't be sure.

- Princess Moxie and I went bra shopping recently. Not that she needs it, but she asked for one, and I figured it's better to start wearing one when you don't need it than not wearing one when you do need it. The underwear is so small and sweet it looks like it goes with the American Doll Collection. Brought back uncomfortable memories of my mom, me and a grumpy saleswoman with a yellow tape measure at Caldors in the 70s.

- Princess Diva Darling went in a swimming pool for the first time in her life. She did great. She
even swam underwater. At the end of the day she spread her arms wide and gleefully reported, "I swam like a bird!" She did, she swam beautifully...like a rabbit jumping out of a tree :)

Big hugs to YOU.

Love,
me

How can I possibly complain about anything??

Here are some chilling facts about Ethiopia that I've unabashedly borrowed from The Rush Family Blog (thank you, Jenny!):

• Ethiopia's doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000
• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday
• There are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by aids alone
• 1.5 million people in Ethiopia are infected with HIV
• 60 percent of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school
• 88 percent will never attend a secondary school

When I read stats like these I want to bow my head and humble myself before the Lord and beg his forgiveness.

How can I live my life in such complete denial about the pain and suffering of my brothers and sisters in Africa? How can I spend more money on more stuff? How can I spend $39 a month at Weight Watchers to encourage me NOT to overeat when I could use that send that same amount to World Vision to feed, clothe, and educate an African child for an entire month?

I don't mean to be such a downer but when am I going to get my head out of the dirt and start to change? When am I going to stop complaining about all the petty dumb things and focus my energies on REAL problems, REAL issues, and REAL solutions for REAL people? Jesus, sweet Jesus, help me to see clearly and act rightly. I can't do a thing right without you.